Self Interview by Alex Nodopaka


Q. Where do you come from?
A. From my father and mother.

Q. Are you are being funny?
A. Not at all, my middle name is Spermovum.

Q. Are you joking?
A. As you know, it all started with The Big Bang. It was just a massive ejaculation!

Q. You have strange titles for your artworks please explain!
A. Well! It is a function of where you are coming from, going to or how the art is viewed. It may be viewed from the front, rear, upside down, sideways or through it, just to name a few.

Q. Do you believe in God?
A. Yes, I was made in its image, thank Goddess.

Q. I understand you also write poetry.
A. I write as I speak. It is called prose or free verse. It is "free" because you never get paid for writing poetry.

Q. I also heard you are a minister of a church.
A. No! I am not a minister of any church but I am an eighteen-dollars certified Bishop of the Mother Earth Church and I only minister to myself, with great difficulty at that.

Q. Why do you never give live interviews?
A. Because I am too slow witted in this megahertz age, my wit is always a few days late! As a matter of fact my friend and I were E-mailing each other simultaneously, both letters collided at 1.5 megahertz squared, had sex and we didn’t even know it. Here is one for you Einstein! Thus, the megahertz, upon colliding, created a Big Bang, split into sigma bytes that formed new universes made up of more megahertz that in turn collide ad infinitum. Isn’t it interesting how one thought adjacent to another, form words adjacent to others! We think in metaphors, write in prose, which in turn becomes free verse, which becomes poetry.

Q. You are known for one-liners, this is your longest rambling!
A. What do you expect after a couple of Vodkas!

Q. Why do you create images?
A. Because God created me in Its image.

Q. Why do you use “It” for God?
A. Well! I never saw his balls, have you? But I have known ecstasy and bliss after Knowing Her. That is why God to me is a Goddess.

Q. So God in your opinion is a female?
A. Yes and a lot sexier than Man!

Q. You have a twisted sense of humor!
A. As twisted as man's interpretation of God.

Q. You use the computer for much of your art today, don’t you?
A. Yes, I now can make hundreds of abstracts in a minute.

Q. But you show no preference for abstracts?
A. No, because now I only think abstract. There is plenty of wallpaper as it is.

Q. Do you painted abstracts?
A. Yes, some 40 years ago. Yes, there was a time! The best abstract construct I ever made consisted of wadded toilet tissues, which I free formed into spontaneous free-form shapes, squeezed them between glass and canvas, sprinkled some brown ink and sand, wrote an artist’s statement named Nono Schloki, which at the time was my nom de plume. It was very successful and still gets laughs today. Subsequently I made more. As you know success breeds success. It is a sort of self-multiplication, as a matter of fact now there are many Shlockis out there.

Q. Ah! “Nom de plume" brings to mind that you speak a few languages.
A. Yes I speak fluently 3 languages when I am sober and a few more after a few Vodkas.

Q. Do you believe in Eternity?
A. Yes, everything is created from nothing, returns to nothing, but nothing disappears into anything, it simply becomes everything. It is Omnipresent. Therefore, I conclude that there is something about nothing. Like this interview!

Q. Your work is often sensual and it is a recurring theme in your work. Why is that?
A. There is only one significant theme in life, it is sex, and all other themes derive from sex. When it is said that at first there was the Word, sex must have preceded it. Also the first word was a four-letter word starting with F that is how sex and the alphabet started! Besides, the Creator created the alphabet first. How can you have a word without an alphabet!

Q. Explain ignorance!
A. As the saying goes “the more we know the more we find out” ad infinitum. Maybe there shall be a time when there will be too much to know and we will feel totally ignorant. Another saying goes “Ignorance is Bliss”, therefore achieving ignorance should be our purpose. Hinduism has been searching for Bliss for more than four thousand years and still is because they are stuck with reincarnation. They will be searching forever!

Q. What is your opinion about women?
A. Common knowledge says that God created Man and Woman was created from Man but I am convinced of the following. Woman created God and in that she was perfect! Man is constantly perfecting himself into Her image but has failed thus far!

Q. What will be your next endeavor?
A. More thinking!

Q. Do you think about Death?
A. No! Thinking about it could kill me!

Q. Will you comment on God.
A. Man created God in his image and that is where Man failed. Man made God too small for the sake of making it comprehensible. Had man made God incomprehensible it would have been much more acceptable.

Q. What do you mean incomprehensible?
A. God at first had no followers as only innumerable universes were created. Then God got lonely! Then the world was populated with followers as God made sure there is safety in numbers. God has a really big Ego! But all there was until now were only a few hard planets to kick around which hurt a lot! I still have all my ribs! So what God created is a self-perpetuating mechanism.

Q. Is art a hobby for you?
A. So is my life!

Q. What do you mean?
A. I spend a lot of time thinking about thinking. As a matter of fact, many of your questions are prefaced with “what do I think” which prompts me to expand on the “think” portion. Just think how many of our actions are qualified with "Do you think", "I think so", "Don’t think about it", "You think too much", "You better think about it", "Think before you speak", "You better think twice". But all the great thinkers have passed on without solving the riddle of thinking. All that is left of their thoughts is their thinking for us to think about. God was smart by creating Thinking. Gourdieff expanded on that thought by stating that we are not aware of ourselves until we get pinched into reality, only then do we become conscious and start thinking. Of course this does not apply to those who have achieved bliss through ignorance because they never thought about anything in the first place! Unless they were so wise to begin with that they knew there was nothing to think about. Do you get it?